Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
