The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
