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new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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