so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
