My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
