Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
