can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
