Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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