Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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