he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
