he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
