Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just cropdusted the office
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
