you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we're making bets on your personal life
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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