So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
