Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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