yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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