bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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