Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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