I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
