there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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