this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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