How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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