They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I need water and some morals
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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