Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
