He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
