Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
