I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
