she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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