Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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