No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
