I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
