I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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