Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
