I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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