doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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