You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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