Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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