I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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