SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
did i just pee glitter
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
