I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
