Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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