I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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