i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
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I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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