fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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