I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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