the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Houston, we have a blender
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You made out with two different species that night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
