i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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