I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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