Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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