and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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