I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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