Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
