Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize