She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
