how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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