fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
