Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
