you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
