so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize