I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
