Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
