The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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