elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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