Jerry, you need to find god
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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