So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
