You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
