Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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