The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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